wondering in silence

since my return i have had a need for more silence. i suppose in part due to all the energy expended in the job of delivering the tour and the need to re-gather energy and move forward.

this is something i did not calculate, as all things cannot be calculated or expected. i gave it my all, i planned, i gathered, i organized, i worried, and in the end found myself depleted which for me is a rather unusual feeling. and as a maker a bit unsettling. in the silence i can gather myself, re-adjust and tune in but life has a way of continually swirling around and silence has been a bit elusive.

in addition, i am questioning (once again) so many things. the road forward is not so clear, paths branching out at odd angles

none really offering any security or safe harbor but then again too much safety has never been my realm.

a quote by Jorge Luis Borges has been ringing in my head-

-don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.

and as of late, this has been my feeling. so for the moment i will share a few things that have kept me wondering…nature has a way of offering solace and beauty in silence.

the order of five

milkweed- a study of polygons

sometimes i think the moon takes hold of me and i overlook the stars…

-so just know that i am working on alignment of one sort or another and will be back again soon.

17 thoughts on “wondering in silence

  1. rose estes

    My husband died three months ago. We had been battling his cancer since 2006. I have a gallery to run. My friend who has been running our gallery for the past year, gave me two weeks to grieve then had a number of tasks that only I could perform. She intended it kindly, giving me a reason to get out from under the covers. I performed all the tasks and felt good about it. i thought that having done so, I could step back into the gallery and resume my life.
    It hasn’t worked out that way. My spirit and body are depleted as are yours after this massive trip with all it entailed.
    I’ve come to understand finally (at 70) that our bodies and spirits have their own agenda and often they do not coincide with what we want. Grief has no time table, nor does the spirit.
    Allow your body and spirit to guide you, they know what is needed. Come back to the greater world when body and spirit are aligned in peace. Ignore all the “shoulds’ coming at you from others who do not understand. My healing thoughts are with you.

    Rose ..

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    1. shiborigirl Post author

      Rose-
      i know what you mean- i experienced a similar loss many years ago and my only thought at that time- young as i was back then- was to keep busy and carry forward. but later on i realized it was really a form of escaping and that i paid for it later on down the line. it feels awkward to take comfort in your words as you grieve your losses and really i don’t think we are ever really meant to stop. death and loss confirms the beauty and joy of life and is a stakeholder in life as we share ourselves and communicate with each other.
      sometimes i just need to sit with it, feel it, listen and not rush.
      thank you rose~

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  2. Zdolność- tworzenia

    Bardzo współczuje. Ja boleję po stracie ponad rok, to trudne poradzić sobie ze wspomnieniami. Jednak nic nie trwa wiecznie, choć tak trudno jest, z tym pogodzić.
    Kwitnący pentagram ma moja hoja.
    Pozdrawiam i życzę spokoju ducha.

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    1. shiborigirl Post author

      i don’t speak polish so had to use google translator and it translated your words this way-
      “Very compassion. I grieve the loss of more than a year, it is difficult to cope with the memories. But nothing lasts forever, even though it is so difficult, with it.
      Blooming pentagram is my hoja.
      I greet and wish you peace of mind.”

      we too greet you and wish you well.

      thank you for sending your thoughts this way. was wondering what your meaning of hoja might be here. i know it as leaf but maybe it has a different meaning in this context. google translator didn’t translate it.
      for some reason i became fascinated with the very same thing this week. it seemed to calm me and everywhere i looked i saw these blooming pentagrams. nature can provide so much inspiration and healing.

      i am reminded that in the end we are left with our memories and not much more sometimes- i hope yours are good and they serve you well.

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  3. whereishenow

    sometimes, i need to sit and gather some energy and sometimes i go out and use that energy… in and out. wax on wax. take your time glennis, and store up some energy.

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  4. helen salo

    Understand your depletion. Life gets that way for me sometimes.too. Are you going to send our orders out before the break? Usually i get an email, so just checking.

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  5. shiborigirl Post author

    not really a break but just an explanation of my current state of mind. have everything all rolled up and packed. just going to print the labels tonight before i go to bed. i can’t wait for you to see and touch these pieces.
    i hope to hear what you have in mind for them after you get done gazing.

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  6. riffatnaim

    silence is bliss, it is a saying reaching down to the heart and soul.silence talks into you and and you understand its the best you ever read about life.everything is said and so clearly done….a purity never experienced before

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