feeling the warmth

it has been a bit of a struggle to write this first post since returning. i had to give myself a little space so i could have some perspective on the trip north from which to write this.

seems that winter most definitely arrived while i was away, both here and there. while at this very moment i can’t tell the whole story (for reasons of time and sanity-my own-trying to look forward and not backward) but i will begin by saying my mom is safe today and we work day by day on this. so many people have a part in this it is hard to know where to start but many, many thanks to all you who sent their love and energy, wisdom, wishes and concerns as well as the many shared personal stories via email and through comments here on the blog.
it was a testament to prayer and energy in action.

part of returning here has involved several days of continued work on her behalf from a distance as well as picking up the pieces around here. there is a lot of picking up to do. mentally and physically. after the enormous task of cleaning out her place-really, against all odds and belief- it was once again transformed into a home. i have concluded it is likely the biggest physical task i have accomplished (along with sis of course) and kinda rivals this.

a supreme thanks to phil as well for steadfast support, subbing out gigs and driving ol’ Posey (the volvo wagon-previously owned by an artist gal into her 80’s who only drove her on sundays) there and back and for the many other things only those who were there will ever know. his birthday occurred on the way back home so we celebrated at a favorite eatery along the way- at the beach of course!

one thing i will say is that just keeping our focus on her safety as our
main concern throughout everything is what carried us through.
the big picture ruled supreme and no details were allowed to stand in the way. it continues to be so.

once i was in the cleaning mode i continued when i got back home-after the absence it was definitely needed and cleaning things up always has a therapeutic effect on me. so with that done i start in slowly.

stirred the indigo vat- it had become completely deranged. ahhh….there it is again- life and work all mixing together as one. i’m bringing it back to life now, nurturing and stirring it, checking it, adding to it, warming it. maybe tomorrow i can get in a dip or two. i did manage to bring back a couple of things that belonged to my grandmother that seemed suitable for indigo. i’m looking forward to a little ceremonial indigo dip…

speaking of feeling the warmth- i put the gas oven on low and have been drying some of the beautiful persimmons that were kind enough to wait for my return. even the backyard squirrel (nicknamed “pesky”) knew enough to leave me some.

their natural beauty also warms me.

i also have to thank those of you who placed prepaid custom orders at the Houston show as well as a couple of you who ordered some things on etsy in the midst of all this and have been patient enough to wait for me to catch up. i will be in the studio making your pieces with a new perspective starting today!. for those of you to whom i sent refunds on your orders, thank you for understanding and i hope you will have occasion to order again sometime. i’ll be here.

even though i am working on just what is in front of me at the moment (lest i get to overwhelmed) the backyard is crazily mixing winter with spring.
-and the scent of it is intoxicating!

(take deep breath, smell the narcissus, feel the sun’s warmth)

((oh and ps…..lest we forget amid all this love and light, our mentally ill brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles, mothers and fathers are simply not getting the help they need. nor are their families. while we fight foreign wars, bail out millionaires, are awash in cheap trinkets, they suffer the unlucky circumstances of organic brain disorders such as schizophrenia. there are no easy answers to mental illness- especially those with the most severe and difficult types, but certainly we can do better than we are currently doing. most certainly. ))

29 thoughts on “feeling the warmth

  1. Els

    Glad to hear that things are working out a bit. Hope it stays that way!
    And those persimmons (I had to look that up in the dictionairy 😉 ) are really shining stars, beautiful ! What a treat to look at (Are they good to eat too ?? )
    Stay put.

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  2. Robyn A

    Amen to your plea for the mentally ill. I am so relieved that your mother is safe and that you have been able to get back to your home. Such experiences are said to make us stronger but it takes a while to get a perspective on that. Lovely photo of the translucent persimmon slice, a little slice of sunshine. Go well.

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  3. Debi Minter

    I’m glad you’re home and am hoping you re-charge soon. I took Psychology last Spring quarter and one of the things we spent a lot of time talking about were the mentally ill, especially those with Schizophrenia, and their plight in our society. It’s criminal the way they are treated, AND their families. I’ve dealt with many mental illness disorders in our elderly parents before they passed on. I think I have a good understanding of what you’ve been through. My heart goes out to you!

    ;~) Debi

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    1. shiborigirl Post author

      oh my. talking will never be enough. when i was a student at UC Davis we had a house on campus where MI students lived and in an effort to learn more i signed up to go there a couple of evenings a week just to have dinner and do dishes with them. the idea was to break down the barriers, reduce stigma, among other things. it was some of the most valuable time i spent there.

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    1. shiborigirl Post author

      oh yeah- persimmon walnut cake helps. today she called me looking for the screwdriver (and all her tools in general).she decided to ask first instead of march to the dollar store and buy another. (we must have collected,say, 100, while we were there) just today’s little victory…

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  4. Suzanna

    I’m really glad things are turning better, and also that you’re talking about the situation so openly…that is the only way to nudge a change into our society. I’ve several friends who have been through similar situations with family members…my prayers are with you.

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  5. kaite

    i’m so relieved to hear that your Mom is safe, you and your sister must have done a wonderful and mammoth job. I’m intrigued by the falling snow on your blog, very clever. ..k.

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  6. helen

    First off, thank God someone mentioned the snow on your blog, I thought my maculate degenertion had really took a turn for the worse, seeing dots is sometimes part of my eye troubles. Ha!
    Now back to important things: glad you found her, glad all is well, and thanks for the perspective on the task you went through, as I am currently trying to clean out my hoarder father-in-law’s place. I needed this. As for “The mentally ill” part , in my opinion, is “everything” is a mental problem now ,and the true cases don’t get the needed time, care, seriousness that they need and deserve. Unfortunately the premise is: “there’s a pill for that” and away you go. The systems in place out there are f’d up. (the only way to put it honestly) Happier days are around the corner, remember the screwdriver, small great strides.Namaste.

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    1. shiborigirl Post author

      ha! glad you discovered it was only *snow*. yes, everything is a mental condition now. the system is completely overrun with substance abuse issues as well. some as a result of MI but many more from other things too.
      much of the $ has been diverted to substance abuse-since there is less stigma attached to that and perhaps it offers more hope in the recovery side as well as more $ to be made. we *like* things we feel we can *fix*. makes us feel better. that doesn’t mean that the issues of people suffering from organic brain disorders such as PS are any less. we just can’t *fix* them. so we cast them aside.
      it’s good to be honest about it.

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  7. Lis Harwood

    Also catching up but not after such trauma thank goodness. Your post was so warming, even though it spoke of such difficult times. My thoughts and prayers are with you, take care of yourself too, hugs.

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  8. nance

    hey… so glad you have entered a place where you can get out of crisis mode… it takes so much energy. i know… though cleaning is only one aspect of it, i have cleaned out other family members homes. that clutter and worse that accumulates can be overwhelming… i live in fear that it will happen to me as well…especially collecting fabric to dye and piece… but i continue to downsize periodically.
    glad you are back to your indigo and those persimons….have you ever died with them?

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  9. Janice Zindel

    Glennis, you and your mother have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am so happy to hear she is safe, that you were able to be of such wonderful help, and able to return to your home. Find peace and joy in your work!

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